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I borrowed the money from my mom and dad and paid it and got my phone turned back on. but that's not the point. the point is..is i let it get that bad in the first place and if i can't take care of my household now..how can i be expected to take care of Masters household when he gets here? He asked me if that's how i intended to take care of his household when we're together and i almost started crying. I promised him it wasn't...and that i'd do better from now on. and even though i don't always have the money to pay all my bills in full all the time..i should be able to put at least a little something on them once a month. *sighs* I hate disappointing Master. He punished me.. (I don't really feel like going into details right now but i might later) and all's forgiven. As hard as it is for me to admit... I really do need him to help me stay on top of things like this. To help me be more responsible and pull my head out of the sand. Sometimes i get so stressed about stuff that without meaning to I try and run from them. I try to ignore them. foolishly thinking they'll go away. when in reality I know they won't. I know i need to face them head on. I Love you Master..with all my heart and soul and I'm so glad you care enough about me to do this for me. To punish me when I need it.. and although i hate admitting that..I do need it. I want it and I crave it. That's really hard for me to admit sometimes because i have been so independant for a long time. Even when i was married..i felt like a single mother raising 5 kids because my ex was always working or busy doing something. and I had to handle a lot of things myself.
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